Miami Vice

Where do I begin. This movie was all over the place and it was a complete and utter mess. I normally do not like to reveal much in the way of plot details, but there is so much wrong with this movie, that I am not going to hold myself to any restrictions. If you don't want to know plot details, don't read this review, because I may not hold anything back. I almost feel guilty for watching this whole movie. I feel like one of those rubber-neckers on the highway slowing down at an accident hoping to catch a glimpse of someones guts strewn across the highway. For some sick sadistic reason, I could not bring myself to shut this movie off.

I am going to start and probably end with the writing, because the plot in this movie was way beyond comprehension. Let me start with the good in the writing, since it will be brief. Some of the dialogue was decent and some of it even slipped back into classic Miami Vice mode. However, the dialogue at times was labored and heavily laden with machismo. The tough-guy narc with nerves of steel thing was a little overplayed. But let me get to some of the issues in this movie that really made it require the willing suspension of disbelief.

We have a couple of County Narcotics officers who are good at what they do. They may even be the best at what they do. A major deal goes wrong resulting in the death of some FBI Agents. Rather than calling in additional federal assets, the FBI covertly recruits two county investigators simply because their names are Crockett and Tubbs. Come on. Reality check. I'm not done yet. These county officers manage to get their hands on a gulfstream jet, fly to Paraguay without a flight plan issued (and without getting clearance from the State Department...I'm sure that's going to go over well). Once in Paraguay, they strongarm a major supplier of everything to use their services to deliver whatever needs to be delivered. He doesn't like them but decides to do business with them. The trustless relationship leads to an initial deal. During the planning phase of that deal, one of the Vice officers falls in love with the business partner of the drug lord and travels to Havana by Speedboat (Havana being another place the State Department might be upset about). They have an affair and it's true love. Deals go bad and they decide to kill the Vice Officers, who outsmart the bad guys resulting in major fireworks where none of the good guys get shot. Then the Vice Officer takes the major drug importer he's been banging and assists her in fleeing from authorities. Did I miss anything? I think that pretty much sums up the plot failures.

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