Tuesday, July 28, 2009

One-Eyed Monster

Adam and Jordan Fields were probably smoking something pretty potent when they conceived the idea of a killer cock. I’m not talking about fighting chickens either. And what better bratwurst could they possibly possess than the over-exposed lumber of Ron Jeremy. But how do you create a killer kickstand? How about having the love muscle become taken over by an alien life form, discarding the rest of the body that does not propagate in order to run as efficiently as possible.

An unlikely absurd scenario to say the least. But intriguing none-the-less. I had to laugh at the very premise of this film, and was intrigued enough to actually watch it. So how do you rate an obviously B-Film? Do you rate using the same standard as a big budget production, or do you take into consideration that the entire process is meant to be part comedic, part suspense and low budget. I split the difference.

The aging Ron Jeremy agrees to make a late-in-life film, featuring his nine and a half inch piston. Things seem innocent enough…a group of young aspiring porn stars are driven to a remote cabin along with Ron Jeremy. An aging actress, Veronica Hart, has come along as an advisor on the film, but manages to weasel her way in for a last hoorah. While working up his stamina outside the cabin, Jeremy appears to be struck by a flash of light. A short while later, while filming a scene with Veronica, Jeremy appears to become possessed before falling back on the floor and dying. But not before his knob manages to go mobile. The fugitive flesh then stalks the remaining porn stars, eliminating them one by one in a form of humor that is at times campy, gross or simply laughable. In any event, the drama is far from high drama. But the premise was certainly original.

I could discuss plot, dialogue and character development at great length. But it is much easier to simply say that it was one step above porn film. I move it one step up, because there actually is a plot, and the entire film is not centered around people getting naked and hooking up. In fact, the nudity was extremely minor for a movie about creating a pornographic film. To my recollection, there was only one scene involving naked breasts and a couple of simulated sex scenes with no nudity. One involved a young man and a machine…not very convincing, but humorous. The characters were pretty flat, the dialogue was weak and the plot was mostly predictable. But it was often fun to watch, regardless.

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